I'm eighteen.

To be honest I haven't got used to the word eighteen. It feels so strange. It makes me feel like it's time to be mature, it's time to grow. I miss seventeen. But time and tide wait for no man. For the past few years, most of us expected a lot from our friends, and most of the time it turned out to be disappointing. This year, i tell myself, appreciate what I have, never let the things i want make me forget the things i have. Seriously, it's just another ordinary day for everyone else. 

That was a simple, but sweet day. It wasn't very special, but i was happy. 

My mum went for a course early in the morning so I didn't manage to see her before i went out during my birthday. But at 12am the previous night, she came out and gave me a hug, with an angpau filled with some money for me to buy/do what I want during my birthday :O I'm imagining the scenes on 8th of april 18 years ago. My grandma always tells me how sick my mum was when i first came, she said it's the most terrible pregnant experience for my mum. lying on the bed all day for a few months, vomiting everytime after eating, she almost wanted to give up on me. "Don't." my dad said. Or i wouldn't be here now. Sometimes I wonder, how would everyone be if I'm not existed. Would they be happier if I don't exist. Or would they hope there's someone like me if i don't exist? But whatever the answer is, i'm here, for some reasons that only God knows. I thank my mum for bringing me to such a beautiful world. you have no idea how glad i am to know that my mum nearly wanted to abort me but decided to keep me with her afterwards. you have no idea. 

I always think I'm a lucky girl. lucky enough to have a great family who supports me to do what i want, lucky enough to have a family who doesn't suffer from much financial problems, lucky enough to have a complete body, lucky enough to have a wardrobe of clothes I like, lucky enough to have traveled to varies countries that some people haven't at this age, lucky enough to have tried so many different food, lucky enough to be born in this era where there are television, computers, cars, internet which make life so much easier, lucky enough to have a few best friends with me during ups and downs, lucky enough to be able to read and speak different languages, lucky enough to experience something people don't, lucky enough to have someone to make me smile everyday and the list goes on endlessly. And I'm lucky enough to have lived happily in this world for 18 years now! There really is no reason why i shouldn't be grateful with what I have in my life. These are more than enough. What can i ask more? to look perfect outside? It's always fair. You can't always have everything you want, right? to look perfect outside isn't something i could really change, every part of my body, my face is a gift from god, it's a gift from my dad and mum. Even if i had money to do plastic surgery, i won't, because it's me. instead, i hope i look beautiful inside, more than outside.

My besties and I have been telling each other that this year we would only want a simple birthday. No surprises. No expectations. haha and it turned out to be great (: It was just a day hanging out with my buddies in a shopping mall, watching movie, playing some childish stuff together, buying something pretty for ourselves, laughing at stupid acts together. Laughing and smiling genuinely = best thing ever.

This was a birthday gift i chose for myself. Love. the biggest word in my life dictionary. 

Another birthday gift from some of my classmates which i really like. A necklace from Diva - the shop i always adore!

A birthday cake is a must for me during one's birthday. My family started to not buying me any birthday cakes these years since my friends would buy for me most of the time when we reached secondary school. This year, I didn't have a birthday cake on my birthday. As usual my parents didn't buy me one, thinking that my friends would give me one. And Nancy was the one who gave me the only birthday cake as a birthday gift this year, although that's a gift which couldn't stay with me for years, although she gave it to me one day earlier, although there wasn't any candles on it (they wanted to put them but i thought it's okay without it), i was happy enough for it. That was a simple ice-cream cake, and i loved it. After they sang the birthday song, I quickly made a few wishes and smiled. i love making birthday wishes. People might think it's a gift with no creativity but nah that means something to me! (:

There's another sweet birthday gift from Sara for me to bring over to singapore. It's a collection of my favorite quotes and what I said before. It's a bottle full of motivation and inspiration. That's all i know, I haven't taken any of them out to read because i decided to bring with me to singapore, and everytime when i'm sad/fed up or frustrated over something, i'll take one of them out to remind myself to be strong, and to feel loved, because these friends are not going to accompany me by my side anymore when I'm studying there :( Thanks!

And of course, not forgetting the sexy pyjamas Penny chose for me (._.) thanks? Lol i'll work hard to fit in that one day later hahaha. Thanks KS for the birthday mail, that has certainly made me smile! In the mail you mentioned something I nearly forgot! haha but you'd better memorize my chinese name now, i couldn't believe that you actually didn't know how to type my chinese name although we were in the same school for so many years! *roar* And also the hundreds of birthday wishes that flooded me via both facebook and handphone :O thanks! I felt so special that day. Also, thanks Alex for the companionship and talks and laughters these days, never felt bored staying at home for weeks, you know you've influenced me a lot :O i just wish we could remain in touch after some time.

Eighteen. it's going to be a huge year for me. it's the year i'll be going to stay away from my home for months, the year i'll start my college life, the year i'll have to start learning to do a lot of things independently, the year i'll have to stop depending so much on my family. and blah. too much more to mention. I hope it's going to be a good year (:

You're officially, eighteen, girl ♥

P/S: I'm going to Singapore for a week again tomorrow, with my bestie! will be posting more about it when I come back. Stay tuned! (:<