So these months I have been to New Zealand, Singapore (for like 7 times. lol) and I just came back from Taiwan, for your information. The other days were spent staying at home, playing online games, talking to people, friends and reading. I didn't take a lot of photographs, to be frank. I didn't want to. I wanna take a break from everything and just be someone normal, lead a lazy lifestyle before I start the hectic college life. I'm glad I did so because these past months have really been enjoyable. made some very different friends in the internet that made my entire 4 months. i miss those moments, of course, sleeping late every night to talk with friends, waking up at noon and no school works to be done. but i can't let myself to stay in the past, it's more important to live in the present, in this moment.
"Change". this word is sorta scary for me now. I'm afraid of changes, really. but i realize we don't want things to change because it's easier that way. I've learned that people change, you change, i change, no matter you like it or not. Sometimes changes hurt, it makes people insecure, confused and upset. We want things to be like how it has always been. But the fact is, the only thing constant in life is change. I'm sure a lot of people are suffering from this, thinking about the past, thinking about the change of something you don't want to, i have no idea why but these months i've heard too much about couple breakups and stuff. I see everyone trying to move on and look for their happiness. I guess it's a huge part of growing - changing. we all have to learn to change, or learn to survive when something changes to how we don't want it to be.
It's 8am now. it's also the first day for my sister and her friend to work in Singapore. They just left home about half an hour ago, leaving me alone in this room, the room that I haven't stayed more than a week. This is such a new place, and I'm really really glad I'm staying with my sister and her friend now because at least i have someone close to me here. Not everyone is so lucky. Some friends went to study at somewhere new alone. We went jogging for the first time in Singapore yesterday. Huge thanks to my sister's friend- Kai Rou. She's a doctor, oh wait, not yet a real doctor, but soon she will be. When they both left home just now, I lied on my bed alone, I could only listen to the sound of the fan, I started thinking so much about this new start. When I was about to be a little bit moody (mainly because I'm a little afraid of my life in Lasalle), i wondered, will people like me, will i be able to communicate well with them, will i be brave enough to start talking to people, to make friends? Then I realized they don't really matter. I'll just have to be myself. Why should I try to impress people?
I needn't wake up so early but I had this urge to start typing everything in my mind. Then I started wondering how was my sister's life when she first came to singapore. she came here alone, no old classmates nor family members staying with her like me. If she managed to survive and do well, why cant I. She did really well here. My parents are so proud of her, and so am I.
Before a nice netfriend started his college and deactivated his fcebook,
i was saying something people did that i thought was bad to him, but he seemed to be fine with things like that.
and he said.
"you should always know that there are always 2 sides to everything.
just like fire and water. they can both kill and save.
it's just all about the perspective you see something.
you should really remember this when i'm gone and something bad happens, i wouldn't be around to comfort you, you know. goddamn I sound like your grandfather now."
haha. now this friend is gone until he has holidays. I'm sure i'll miss talking to him, i hope 5 months later nothing will have changed. Again i'm just being afraid of changes, too afraid of it. And I think I shouldn't be. I'm terrified by the thought that everyone changes and we can't stop them from changing. Sometimes it's not the fact that kills, but the worries. i'll remember what he said. Everything happens for a reason. I'm gonna concentrate on living this new life.
Last few weeks my sister and I brought our clothes and stuff to this new home in singapore. I brought a lot of gifts from my friends with me, even some letters or birthday cards are here with me. I bring all the happy memories my friends gave with me. they'll always be with me.
This is how my bedroom looks like >:)
Life is about trusting our feelings and taking chances, losing and finding happiness, appreciating the memories and learning from the past.
I'll do my best these months. I promise.
Oh it's 8.30am. Good morning, world! (: