Forgetting Again

December 29, 2014

Sometimes I spend so long looking for the perfect blog layout that I find it so contradicting because I don't even blog that much anymore. Isn't life sometimes the same? You spend too much time planning the best for your future that you forget the most foundation thing in life - to live. Maybe a small part of me believes that a good layout could inspire me to continue sharing, because I need to constantly be inspired. There are truly too many thoughts that come to me everyday that I fail to pen down, and I let them go eventually.

Anyway, I'm finally back home. After what feels like - just too long. (Not actually that long when I count) But I really needed a break. I had been working nearly every single day, Sunday to the next Sunday, the past 2 months. I wanted to make the best out of 2014, I wanted to push through and hoped the hardwork of the last 2 months of the year could perhaps make it an overall better year.

So, I'm finally back home. I know this is the second time I type this sentence but the "finally" I said for the first time was talking about how long have I not been home, and this second "finally" is to emphasise that it wasn't an easy trip coming back home.

Nancy came over to Singapore on Christmas eve to accompany me on Christmas. The few days she was over, it was nothing but wonderful, to have your best friend's company when you're overseas. I couldn't appreciate it more. The day we're supposed to come back home together, we reached the bus station an hour earlier, collected our tickets, and found a cosy Thai restaurant in the mall full of Thais, ordered some Thai iced tea and talked while waiting for the time to reach. 10 minutes to 5.30pm, we packed and headed to where the coach would be.

As I walked, it struck me. 'Did I bring my passport?', I quietly asked myself. Almost immediately, I remembered where it was - in the camera bag that I carried to shoot few days back. I took a deep breath, trying to figure out what I should do before I told Nancy about it.

10 minutes later, I was outside of the coach begging the driver to wait for me at the custom as I took a cab back home to get my passport. All he said was "Try your best." But he made it clear that he wouldn't wait if the passengers are done at the check-point. I left my ukulele and my sweater with Nancy on the bus, and told her I would see her at the custom, then ran off to grab a cab while it started drizzling.

I texted my sister who had a similar experience (which proves that we are real sisters) and asked the cab drivers who know better of how long I need to get there/ if it is possible for me to catch them. Everyone agreed that it's a safer choice to be taking the next coach home instead of trying to catch up (and if it fails, then what?) So I followed. In the mean time I just kept texting Nancy that I was really sorry for being so forgetful all the time, although I was sure her phone couldn't receive any text messages in Singapore. When she had crossed the border to Malaysia, she read my text and said "I'm sorry too I should have accompanied you" But having her to not be angry and frustrated at me for being so forgetful for the hundredth time and carrying my uku & shoes bags with her around (on top of her own bags) at the check-point, it was enough. More than enough.

I think we - which is, my sister and I, have forgotten our stuff (or missed our flights) for so many times that my mom is not surprised by it anymore. "We will wait for you, no worries" I was so grateful, but so frustrated at myself at the same time, for allowing such unpleasant experience to happen when life was good and sweet. Nancy reached about 4 hours earlier than me when her coach was only about 1.45h earlier. But at the end of the day, I was so glad I was home, though it's at 3 in the morning, after being stuck at the custom for nearly 2.5 hours.

Reading about the missing plane from Indo to Sg, suddenly this feels like nothing as compared to all the accidents. My heart goes to all the victims and their families. We need more love.

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